so... here's how it goes:
i ignore u (unintentionally) when i talk to her, u ignore me (unintentionally) while talking to him, and for an hour or so after.
I pamper you, treat u so nice, you treat me like I've a head full of lice.
I trust you, I love you, oddly enough you trust and love me.
my question is this: why do i put up with the ignoring of me?
cuz ignorance is bliss.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The teachings of the Night Angel
o foolish people! how lust and desire have clouded your minds! behold and see the truth for what it is! I am me, and being so I am imperfect. as are we all, petty imperfect fools, easily persuaded by our primal feelings! but lo, do not hate me for being so, for in doing so you are hating yourself as well.
In the dead of night, all you hear is footsteps behind you. All you see is a shadow on the wall. All you feel is a sense of dread, but when the things that scare you most come to call, I'll be there, waiting to save you.
In the dead of night, all you hear is footsteps behind you. All you see is a shadow on the wall. All you feel is a sense of dread, but when the things that scare you most come to call, I'll be there, waiting to save you.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Change of pace...
A lot of things can happen in two years.
Let me back up a little and give you some background info quick. two years ago, my best friend and first real girlfriend left to go sailing with her parents, not by her choice, but by force. Now, at the time, I was very upset about it, I went into depression and almost killed myself because i lost all contact with her for two long years. then, last summer she made landfall again and we resumed talking, and it was just as if she had never left.
Fast forward to October, I find out that she is "with" someone. after a bit of talking, im starting to not like the guy for reasons other than shes with him. thanks to one of my friends here on campus though i was able to remain calm about it.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving: another friend of mine makes her ex mad by video chatting with me instead of him all night.
On to Dec 3, I ask this friend out.
Now, Christmas came around and I got to see my old friend again, the one i didnt see for two years. it took all our self control to not act like we had never been separated, but we managed it rather well.
Now back to today, I've figured out that, while i still care deeply for my old friend, I'm just as happy with my gf, maybe more happy, than i ever was with her. now, Im still going to be the best friend I can be, thats just how a friendship like ours goes, but... Im done concerning myself with every little thing that goes on in other peoples lives and just worrying about mine and those directly influenced by mine, meaning the ones that i see every day.
and to close, a poem i wrote spurr of the moment a few nights ago:
what more, than air of evil nevermore? the eye can no longer see, the soul can no longer be. if the mouth can no longer speak, and the ears can no longer hear, then what have we to fear?
Let me back up a little and give you some background info quick. two years ago, my best friend and first real girlfriend left to go sailing with her parents, not by her choice, but by force. Now, at the time, I was very upset about it, I went into depression and almost killed myself because i lost all contact with her for two long years. then, last summer she made landfall again and we resumed talking, and it was just as if she had never left.
Fast forward to October, I find out that she is "with" someone. after a bit of talking, im starting to not like the guy for reasons other than shes with him. thanks to one of my friends here on campus though i was able to remain calm about it.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving: another friend of mine makes her ex mad by video chatting with me instead of him all night.
On to Dec 3, I ask this friend out.
Now, Christmas came around and I got to see my old friend again, the one i didnt see for two years. it took all our self control to not act like we had never been separated, but we managed it rather well.
Now back to today, I've figured out that, while i still care deeply for my old friend, I'm just as happy with my gf, maybe more happy, than i ever was with her. now, Im still going to be the best friend I can be, thats just how a friendship like ours goes, but... Im done concerning myself with every little thing that goes on in other peoples lives and just worrying about mine and those directly influenced by mine, meaning the ones that i see every day.
and to close, a poem i wrote spurr of the moment a few nights ago:
what more, than air of evil nevermore? the eye can no longer see, the soul can no longer be. if the mouth can no longer speak, and the ears can no longer hear, then what have we to fear?
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