my blog

ok, so I'm wanting a new template for my blog, but want to keep it roughly the same style, kinda dark with a central figure like the one in this template. if you have any ideas where i can find a free one, let me know.

What it means to be a Ginger

You don't EVER mess with a Ginger. We are crazy. You mess with us, its like playing with fire. Let me tell you what the only difference is: after a while, there is no way to control us. You wrong a Ginger, you better watch your back.

We will be the nicest people you will ever meet, but we typically have a short fuse. find the right button to push, and all Hell will break loose.

"Make no mistake, war is coming. With all its glory, and all its horror."

so, reading an old friends blog, I found this... thing. its basically a writing analyzer. so I put in some of my poetry and found this out:

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

and then i looked at my stories, and found this out:

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

now, i've never read any of the first one's books, but according to Kelsea, he is a really good author, so I may have to start reading him to see how my poetry relates to him. and as for relating to stephen king, that encourages me

Apocalyptica

Their music. Their lyrics. Everything about them, I love. Who knew that 4 Cellos could make such... amazing music? Especially recently. Their music speaks volumes about life, love, happiness, and just about everything. Two songs in particular are sticking out for me at this present moment. One is Betrayal/Forgiveness and the other is End of Me.

the first one is about fighting the hate to find forgiveness for those that have wronged you

the second is about lost love, and love being the end of all good things in a persons life

these songs are speaking of battles that I have raging inside of me, and in all honesty, battles raging inside all of us.

Lyrics:
Betrayal/Forgiveness

All that I ever wanted
To understand my nightmares
Possessed by my fears
Betrayed by my pride
Alone I wandered in the deepest dark
Seeking comfort from the vanity
Each time I escaped the real
My soul died, died a bit more
Confronting the evil within
Praying for my angel to appear
Agonized whisper into the emptiness
Begging for salvation - salvation for this cursed mind
Words without meaning
Touch without feeling
I do not recognize my own face
Eyes that were once shining
Now extinguished
Left only a silent cold
Sound of a tear falling down
In the desperate hour of loneliness
This shattered heart reaching
For it's relief - the relief it cannot find
Glance without affection
Kiss without sensitivity
Promise without comprehension
Love without hope
I do not remember my own tale
Betrayed by my anger
Betrayed by my delusions
Betrayed by my lust
(I wish)
Strength - to be released from my demons
(I desire)
Wisdom - to forgive the past
To forgive me


End Of Me

Rosaries left under the mattress of the memories who could bear the witness
As you slip into oblivion, use it like a weapon
Am I left to bleed waiting for the moment when you've had your fun
A loaded gun

Take away your broken misery, I can't wait to erase your memory
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me
Everything I gave is wasted, I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of

Can't resist poisoning the message
Just a narcissist trapped inside the wreckage
And the sympathy I had is gone deadened by the ceremony
Drama queen stand behind your empire as your kingdom falls all because

Take away your broken misery, I can't wait to erase your memory
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me
Everything I gave is wasted, I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me

Your rescue, my undo
I'm not the one to save you
I'm empty completely
I'm drowning in your shadow

Take away your broken misery, I can't wait to erase your memory
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me
Everything I gave is wasted, I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of

Can't chase away your ghost, inside it only grows
Nothing left but misery
This will be the end of me
All the shit that you created, all the scars you celebrated
Couldn't take away your pain
Couldn't resurrect your gain
This love will be the end of me, this love will be the end


More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/apocalyptica/#share

Bad or Good?

is it good or bad that im concerned no one reads this, at least, no one that I've invited to read it and who follows me? cuz no one ever leaves me comments on my comments section (under the about me) so I have no idea if I'm talking to myself or if someone is actually reading and analyzing the stuff that I produce. am i going crazy(er than I already am)? or am i actually just imagining that i have people reading this, imagining that i have friends. meh, its all a matter of perspective i suppose. i personally believe i am perfectly sane.

Happy, where have you gone?

my happy vibe is fading fast. its rare that i feel 100% happy nowadays. on a good day ill be maybe 85%. no idea why this is happening, but i definately dont like it.

The Game of Love

The rules are forfeit, the game has begun.
Now let us see who is the stronger one.
One contender, a seasoned fighter;
The other, a mere lonely writer.

Through many rounds they dance unlike anything seen before.
They dance left and right, up and down, till they just cant dance anymore.

By the end of the game, both players are spent,
Neither knows where time and love went.

The fighter looks into the crowd and finds his love,
Little does he know she has another love.

The writer's love is nowhere to be found
Could it be she was run aground?
Desperate, he calls out her name
But he doesn't know, she's playing a game.

A game of the heart, a game of deceit,
A game the writer may not beat.

She stands behind the fighter, enticing him with love
But little does she know, he is incapable of love.

The writer sees her, and rises to his feet,
Only to see he's not the one she's here to meet.

Furious, he charges, intent to draw blood,
But he is stopped with a thud.

He looks to the left, he looks to the right,
Only to see more entrants in the fight.

Lost in the confusion, his love has vanished.
He then finds out he has been banished.

Banished from her heart and mind,
Left on his own to find what he can find.

A few days pass and he's ready to quit,
When a familiar voice tells him to sit.
He looks around and finds his love,
Who is there to tell him she's found her love.

As her story unfolds, he finds out the truth:
The fighter stole her away, wich was very uncouth.
He made her believe he loved her still,
And that he now had a stronger will.

Believing his words, she followed him,
And thats when things started looking grim.
He took her and forced her to do as he wanted;
Knowing full well that he was ever haunted.

Haunted by his past, and decisions he made;
Till finally he relinquished the fair maid.

Thats where she found the writer to be,
So excited she was filled up with glee.
She promised not to run, and never to hide
In such a way she was impossible to find.

The writer, confused, asked what he should do,
The maiden told him "Do something you fool"
And so he grabbed her and kissed her
And told her he missed her

Nightmare

Nightmare!

Now your nightmare comes to live.

Dragged you down below.
Down to the devil's show.
To be his guest forever.

Peace of mind is less than never.
Hate to twist your mind.
But God ain't on your side.
An old acquaintance severed.

Burn the world your last endeavor.
Flesh is burning.
You can smell it in the air.
Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal.

Steal.

So stand in line while they ink numbers in your head.
Your now a slave until the end of time here.
Nothing stops the madness turning, haunting, pearning.
Pull the trigger.

You should of known.
The price of evil.
And it hurts to know that you belong here.
Yeah.
It's your fucking nightmare.
While your nightmare comes to life.

Can't wake up and sweat.
Cause it ain't over yet.
Still dancing with your demons.
Victim of your own creation.

Beyond the will to fight.
Where all that's wrong is right.
Where hate don't need a reason.
Loathing self-assassination.

You've been lied too.
Just to rape you of your sight.
And now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel.
Feel.

So sedated as they medicate your brain.
And while you slowly go insane they tell ya.

"Given with the best intentions help you with your complications."

You should have known.
The price of evil.
And it hurts to know that you belong here.
Yea.
No one to call.
Everybody to fear.
Your tragic fate
Is looking so clear.
Yea.
It's your fucking nightmare.

Fight. not to fail.
Not to fall.
Or you'll end up like the others.

Die, die again.
Drenched in sin.
With no respect for another.

Down, feel the fire.
Feel the hate.
Your pain is what we desire.

Lost, hit the wall.
Watch you crawl.
Such a replaceable lair.

And I know your hear their voices.
Calling from above.
And I know they may seem real.
These signals of love.

But our life's made up of choices.
Some without appeal.
They took for granted your soul.
And it's ours now to steal.

As your nightmare comes to life.

You should have known.
The price of evil.
And it hurts to know that your belong here.
Yea.
No one to call.
Everybody to fear.
Your tragic fate.
Is looking so clear, yea.
It's your fucking nightmare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this song is speaking volumes about my life at the moment. the beat of it and the minor key it is written in express how hectic and scary my life is at the moment. the verses can all relate to my emotions concerning certain people or things as of late. the refrain applies to a certain someone who I am not friends with, but is a friend of a friend.

sometimes, I think some things are coincidence... other times, i think they are fate. this is one of those times.