If you had asked me three years ago where I wanted to be today, I would have told you that I wanted to be at Grand View University, hanging out with my awesome friends (who I, at this time, hadn't met yet) and studying Graphic Journalism.
If you had asked me two years ago where I wanted to be today, I would have said I wanted to be at Grand View University, hanging out with my awesome friends, studying Journalism, and working at a job I enjoy.
If you had asked me a year ago where I wanted to be today, I would have said I wanted to be anywhere but Council Bluffs, but preferably Grand View University, studying Journalism and hanging out with my friends, who are awesome.
If you ask me today where I want to be, I will tell you I want to be at Grand View University, studying Journalism/English, hanging out with my awesome friends, and working at a fun job.
I really wish I hadn't left GVU, but it was unavoidable as the costs of going there were getting too ridiculously high. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. I've lost my sense of self, and I don't have the time on my hands to go out and find it again.
I've also realized that I'm starting to find my girlfriend less sexually attractive than I have in the past. Not sure what the reason is, I still find her attractive, but I just can't stand being around her a whole lot anymore. She drives me nuts, but I love her. And I have no where else to go, nor do I have means to get there, as I no longer have a car.
This song, by Five Finger Death Punch explains this thought process so well. It is called
"Undone"
Sometimes the things get so jaded
Still my heart slowly beats
Sometimes life gets complicated
Still the world around me sleeps
I'm ashamed, not to blame
Don't wanna think about it
Who I am, what I've done
How do I carry on?
Wanna change, turn the page
Don't wanna think about it
How do I undo what's done?
Undo what's done!
Sometimes the things get so faded
How is it that you can't see?
Sometimes life seems overrated
Makes my heart slowly bleed
I'm ashamed, not to blame
Don't wanna think about it
Who I am, What I've done
How do I carry on?
Wanna change, turn the page
Don't wanna think about it
How do I undo what's done?
Undo what's done! [x3]
I'm ashamed, not to blame
Don't wanna think about it
Who I am, What I've done
How do I carry on?
Wanna change, turn the page
Don't wanna think about it
How do I undo what's done?
I'm ashamed, not to blame
Don't wanna think about it
Who I am, What I've done
How do I carry on?
Wanna change, turn the page
Don't wanna think about it
How do I undo what's done?
and this other song by the same band explains my feelings towards a few of my old friends.
"Succubus"
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
[Verse 1:]
I don’t want to be your tourniquet
For minor lacerations
Don’t wanna be your Romeo
Because you’re no Goddamn Juliet
(you always did know just what to say; insult and injury)
(YOU JUST LOVE TO HATE ME!)
[Chorus:]
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
[Verse 2:]
You’ve got a gun
I’ve got a gun
Let’s write a tragic ending
Don’t wanna be this way again
Don’t wanna be the one to blame
(you can have the high roads; I’ll take I, disguise the frailty)
(I JUST LOVE TO HATE YOU!)
[Chorus:]
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
[Outro:]
(YOU JUST LOVE TO HATE ME!)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
[Verse 1:]
I don’t want to be your tourniquet
For minor lacerations
Don’t wanna be your Romeo
Because you’re no Goddamn Juliet
(you always did know just what to say; insult and injury)
(YOU JUST LOVE TO HATE ME!)
[Chorus:]
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
[Verse 2:]
You’ve got a gun
I’ve got a gun
Let’s write a tragic ending
Don’t wanna be this way again
Don’t wanna be the one to blame
(you can have the high roads; I’ll take I, disguise the frailty)
(I JUST LOVE TO HATE YOU!)
[Chorus:]
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
[Outro:]
(YOU JUST LOVE TO HATE ME!)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(FUCK YOU)
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