Depressing post is depressing.

Over the past week or so, my life has been turning to hell.  On Monday, my car took a shit (the transmission broke, repair was more than the car was worth) and on Tuesday I almost broke a little girl with Osteogenisis Imperfecta (Brittle bone syndrome) when I tripped walking out of class.  Wednesday was mostly spent at work thinking of past loves while scrubbing the shit (figuratively speaking) out of the cooler I work in.  That was somewhat... cleansing I suppose you could say.  Got rid of a few of the things that were haunting my mind about those relationships.  Thursday was me sitting at home drinking, eating, and playing my Xbox all day.  Today, I learned that my once best friend, whom I now consider more a close acquaintance, got dumped, in a rather cruel way, but I wont get into that here.  Then I had to go to work, and I found out that my bank is screwing me out of my money, and that the cheapest car I can get financed for is about $10,000.  Way more than I wanted to spend.  The car is friggin sweet though.

Just a few minutes ago, I was browsing my Facebook news feed, and saw a picture of one of my ex-girlfriends.  I studied it for a moment thinking.  Yeah, she's attractive, yeah I still have feelings for her, but you know what?  Fuck it.  Fuck. It. All.

My past is something I've been trying to forget (in some aspects) or relive in others for too long.  I looked at her picture and saw a girl, whom I once loved more than anyone else in the world, and I got a little sick.  Sick because I know that while I would STILL do anything for her, just to see her happy, I know that she could give a rat's ass less about me.  YEAH, FUCK YOU TOO BITCH!

Yesterday, I received some really depressing news.  One of my good friends tried to hang himself in his bedroom, and if it hadn't been for his sister walking in on him kicking the chair, he would probably have succeeded.  He is being taken for counseling, his mom say's that the reason he tried is because he felt like life was just too full of monotony and that he wasn't going to make a difference  to anyone, ever.  It doesn't matter who you are, you are always important, and you will ALWAYS make a difference.  It may not be noticeable for a few years, or even until you meet the right people, but you will know it when you have made the difference.  It may be your life, but your choices don't just effect you.