More Uproar thoughts...

after thinking over what I saw and heard at the Uproar Festival on Friday, I've realized something...

Music rules us.

Music is what feelings sound like.

see, Halestorm made me think about my love life, past and present. one of thier songs in particular stood out for me:

Drink the wine, my darling, you said
Take your time, consume all of it
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and...

[CHORUS:]
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison

I tell myself that you're no good for me
I wish you well, but desire never leaves
I could fight this til the end
But maybe I don't want to win

[CHORUS]

I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober
I want you on my mind, in my dreams behind these eyes
And I won't wake up, no not this time.

[CHORUS]

A familiar taste of poison

Familiar taste of Poison is a song about one person acting all sweet, but really, they are bitter and deadly.

all of my past relationships have had aspects of this concept. It talks about how the subject wants to believe the lies, but at the same time knows they are lies and suffers through them due to love. I have done this in two relationships.


Stone Sour... such a different tone from Corey Taylor's other band Slipknot... especially the songThrough Glass which made me think about darker times in my life, as well as a more recent time...

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your heaaaaddd

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah yeah

Ohhhoh when the starrs
Ohhh oh when the starrrrs that liieee

Yeah... it basically says that I'm on the outside looking in, but the being alone is what I'm used to. there are times where I just feel so alone, and the only people who can help, wont, or are unable to.

but then... Avenged Sevenfold took the stage... with Welcome to the Family


Hey kid, do I have your attention?
I know the way you've been livin'
Life's so wreckless, tragedy endless
Welcome to the family
Hey! There's something missing
Only time will alter your vision
Never in question, lethal injection
Welcome to the family

Not long ago you found the answers were so crystal clear
Within a day you find yourself living in constant fear
Can you look at yourself now?
Can you look at yourself?
You can't win this fight!

In a way it seems there's no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb
And our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But, you can't win this fight!

Hey, I have to question
What's with the violent aggression?
Details blurry, lost him too early
Welcome to the family
Hey, why wont you listen?
Can't help the people you're missing
It's been done, a casualty re-run
Welcome to the family

I try and help you with the
Things that can't be justified
I need to warn you that
There is no way to rationalize
So have you figured it out now?
So have you figured it out?
You can't win this fight!

In a way it seems there's no-one to call
When our thoughts are so numb
And our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But, you can't win this fight!

Gunning for you
And all mankind
I've lost my mind
Psychotic
Rabid dementia
I won't be fine

I see you're a king who's been dethroned
Cast out
In a world you'll never know
Stand there
Place your weapons by your side
It's our war
In the end we'll surely lose
But that's all right

So have you figured it out now?
So have you figured it out?

And, in a way it seems there's no-one to call
When our thoughts are so numb
And our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But, you can't win this fight!

Deep inside
Where nothing's fine
I've lost my mind
You're not invited
So step aside
I lost my

Deep inside
Where nothings fine
I've lost my mind
You're not invited
So step aside
I lost my

This song basically tells me that no matter what challenges we face, we have to face them with a stiff upper lip and never back down. This is what I'm going to do.

Disturbed One

well, tonight was the Uproar Festival, and watching Disturbed play live was pretty cool. they sang an old song of theirs that really applies to my life today, and its kinda sad that it does... well, here it is:

Tell me exactly
what am I supposed to do?
Now that I have
allowed you to beat me!
Do you think that
we could play another game?
Maybe I can win this time?
I kind of like
the misery you put me through.
Darling, you can trust me
completely.
If you even try
to look the other way,
I think that I could kill this time.

Rah! Rah! [x2]

It doesn't really seem
I'm getting through to you.
Though I see you weeping so sweetly.
I think that you might
have to take another taste,
a little bit of hell this time.

Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!
Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!

You always wanted
people to remember you.
To leave your little mark on
society!
Don't you know your wish
is coming true today?
Another victim dies tonight.

Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!
Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!

Ramidi ma ma ba di ma!
Ramidi ma ma din do!
Ramidi ma ma ba di ma!
Ramidi ma ma ba di mo!
[all x3]

Is she really telling lies again?
Doesn't she realize she's in danger?

Eeeeeeeyow!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!

The little bitch,
she went and she told A LIE!
Now she will never tell another.
A LIE!
The little bitch,
she went and she told A LIE!
NEVER FUCKING LIE TO ME!

the title of this glorious piece of work is "The Game"
basically its saying dont mess with me, or you will get hurt. and its the truth.

my blog

ok, so I'm wanting a new template for my blog, but want to keep it roughly the same style, kinda dark with a central figure like the one in this template. if you have any ideas where i can find a free one, let me know.

What it means to be a Ginger

You don't EVER mess with a Ginger. We are crazy. You mess with us, its like playing with fire. Let me tell you what the only difference is: after a while, there is no way to control us. You wrong a Ginger, you better watch your back.

We will be the nicest people you will ever meet, but we typically have a short fuse. find the right button to push, and all Hell will break loose.

"Make no mistake, war is coming. With all its glory, and all its horror."

so, reading an old friends blog, I found this... thing. its basically a writing analyzer. so I put in some of my poetry and found this out:

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

and then i looked at my stories, and found this out:

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

now, i've never read any of the first one's books, but according to Kelsea, he is a really good author, so I may have to start reading him to see how my poetry relates to him. and as for relating to stephen king, that encourages me

Apocalyptica

Their music. Their lyrics. Everything about them, I love. Who knew that 4 Cellos could make such... amazing music? Especially recently. Their music speaks volumes about life, love, happiness, and just about everything. Two songs in particular are sticking out for me at this present moment. One is Betrayal/Forgiveness and the other is End of Me.

the first one is about fighting the hate to find forgiveness for those that have wronged you

the second is about lost love, and love being the end of all good things in a persons life

these songs are speaking of battles that I have raging inside of me, and in all honesty, battles raging inside all of us.

Lyrics:
Betrayal/Forgiveness

All that I ever wanted
To understand my nightmares
Possessed by my fears
Betrayed by my pride
Alone I wandered in the deepest dark
Seeking comfort from the vanity
Each time I escaped the real
My soul died, died a bit more
Confronting the evil within
Praying for my angel to appear
Agonized whisper into the emptiness
Begging for salvation - salvation for this cursed mind
Words without meaning
Touch without feeling
I do not recognize my own face
Eyes that were once shining
Now extinguished
Left only a silent cold
Sound of a tear falling down
In the desperate hour of loneliness
This shattered heart reaching
For it's relief - the relief it cannot find
Glance without affection
Kiss without sensitivity
Promise without comprehension
Love without hope
I do not remember my own tale
Betrayed by my anger
Betrayed by my delusions
Betrayed by my lust
(I wish)
Strength - to be released from my demons
(I desire)
Wisdom - to forgive the past
To forgive me


End Of Me

Rosaries left under the mattress of the memories who could bear the witness
As you slip into oblivion, use it like a weapon
Am I left to bleed waiting for the moment when you've had your fun
A loaded gun

Take away your broken misery, I can't wait to erase your memory
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me
Everything I gave is wasted, I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of

Can't resist poisoning the message
Just a narcissist trapped inside the wreckage
And the sympathy I had is gone deadened by the ceremony
Drama queen stand behind your empire as your kingdom falls all because

Take away your broken misery, I can't wait to erase your memory
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me
Everything I gave is wasted, I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me

Your rescue, my undo
I'm not the one to save you
I'm empty completely
I'm drowning in your shadow

Take away your broken misery, I can't wait to erase your memory
This love, this love is gonna be the end of me
Everything I gave is wasted, I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of

Can't chase away your ghost, inside it only grows
Nothing left but misery
This will be the end of me
All the shit that you created, all the scars you celebrated
Couldn't take away your pain
Couldn't resurrect your gain
This love will be the end of me, this love will be the end


More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/apocalyptica/#share

Bad or Good?

is it good or bad that im concerned no one reads this, at least, no one that I've invited to read it and who follows me? cuz no one ever leaves me comments on my comments section (under the about me) so I have no idea if I'm talking to myself or if someone is actually reading and analyzing the stuff that I produce. am i going crazy(er than I already am)? or am i actually just imagining that i have people reading this, imagining that i have friends. meh, its all a matter of perspective i suppose. i personally believe i am perfectly sane.