Did you ever wonder?

I've been reflecting a lot the past few weeks.

Reflecting on times past, people who used to be part of my life, people who still are, some decisions I've made, and some of my most cherished memories.

In the past, I was the person everyone went to for advice. I was the person who was the "go to guy" when my friends had had a rough day. Now,I'm just another fuckin sheep in the herd. I blend in to most crowds, and not even the people who are my friends can easily pick me out, people never come to me for help or advice. I can't help but wonder what prompted this.

This brings me to my next pondering, what have I done to cause people I once held dear to drift away? Granted, some of it is just the natural flow of life, but there are a few people who I thought would always be there, One of them we'll call George, and the others we'll call "the guys". George and I were like brothers, virtually inseparable. Then I moved away and kept talking to him and such, but after a while, he just kind of stopped responding. I've given up on him, but part of me still hopes he responds sometime...
as for the guys, they were my primary group of friends, even though they treated me less than what I would have liked. They seldom included me in their "Reindeer Games" so to speak, but there were a couple of them who always felt bad about it and tried to change the rest of the groups opinion. They have stopped talking to me as well. They have become so obsessed with themselves that its disgusting.

There are many more people I could talk about ditching me, but I'm not going to waste my time on them, for the sheer fact that I dont really give a flying fuck anymore.

I've started communicating with a few of my friends from my old College recently, and one of the conversations prompted me to write this. I miss walking through the graveyard, watching the creepy and funny movies we used to watch, and just making everyone around us think "WTF are those two doing?" this friend may have hurt me badly in the past, but we've talked about it and thats all in the past now.

I'm not going to say that I always make the right choices in life, because sometimes I wonder if leaving my family for my girlfriend was the right one. it took me away from my friends who really do care about me, as well as my family (my family that didn't raise me anyway)

I dont know, but life is so much more difficult now... now that I've entered the real world.