trials and tribulations

so, i have to spend the summer working my ass off with little to no social life due to my parents. also, i dont get to see my dear more than one, maybe two weekends a month all summer. what kind of shenanigains is this? the bullshit kind, thats the kind of shenanigains thats going on here. luckily we can talk everyday thanks to txt and skype. more information later.

Ignoramoos

so... here's how it goes:
i ignore u (unintentionally) when i talk to her, u ignore me (unintentionally) while talking to him, and for an hour or so after.

I pamper you, treat u so nice, you treat me like I've a head full of lice.

I trust you, I love you, oddly enough you trust and love me.

my question is this: why do i put up with the ignoring of me?

cuz ignorance is bliss.

The teachings of the Night Angel

o foolish people! how lust and desire have clouded your minds! behold and see the truth for what it is! I am me, and being so I am imperfect. as are we all, petty imperfect fools, easily persuaded by our primal feelings! but lo, do not hate me for being so, for in doing so you are hating yourself as well.

In the dead of night, all you hear is footsteps behind you. All you see is a shadow on the wall. All you feel is a sense of dread, but when the things that scare you most come to call, I'll be there, waiting to save you.

Change of pace...

A lot of things can happen in two years.

Let me back up a little and give you some background info quick. two years ago, my best friend and first real girlfriend left to go sailing with her parents, not by her choice, but by force. Now, at the time, I was very upset about it, I went into depression and almost killed myself because i lost all contact with her for two long years. then, last summer she made landfall again and we resumed talking, and it was just as if she had never left.

Fast forward to October, I find out that she is "with" someone. after a bit of talking, im starting to not like the guy for reasons other than shes with him. thanks to one of my friends here on campus though i was able to remain calm about it.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving: another friend of mine makes her ex mad by video chatting with me instead of him all night.

On to Dec 3, I ask this friend out.

Now, Christmas came around and I got to see my old friend again, the one i didnt see for two years. it took all our self control to not act like we had never been separated, but we managed it rather well.

Now back to today, I've figured out that, while i still care deeply for my old friend, I'm just as happy with my gf, maybe more happy, than i ever was with her. now, Im still going to be the best friend I can be, thats just how a friendship like ours goes, but... Im done concerning myself with every little thing that goes on in other peoples lives and just worrying about mine and those directly influenced by mine, meaning the ones that i see every day.

and to close, a poem i wrote spurr of the moment a few nights ago:
what more, than air of evil nevermore? the eye can no longer see, the soul can no longer be. if the mouth can no longer speak, and the ears can no longer hear, then what have we to fear?

Karma and other things

Yes, Karma is my first topic today.

Karma- n.

action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad in life.

now, you may be wondering why im posting this, its because Karma is being sweet to me today. things that people have done to me are coming back on them, and things that I have done for others are coming back to me, yielding good results. I have a very good feeling that these next few days are going to be good ones.


now, to other news-
the skillet concert last night was AMAZING!!!!!!! sadly, thats all we got to see cuz Kelsea got sick, but its okay, I would chose her health over a concert any day.

my play director is making me dye my facial hair black, but leave my hair red, so im going to look like a d-bag for a while

Contemplation

What happens when the fire in one relationship has died? The relationship dies.
What happens when the relationship dies? Old friends drift apart.
What happens when old friends drift apart? Feelings get hurt.
What happens when feelings get hurt? Tears are shed.

I'm here to tell you that while I do care about your feelings, and I dont want you to be hurt, I'm happy with what I have, and you need to accept that. You need to be happy with what you have too, stop holding onto the dreams of what once was a possibility, and just let it go. If, somewhere down the line, those dreams come true, then they do, but if not then there is nothing we can do about it. This is your time to just move on and be happy with what you have.

Dreams...

Last night was an interesting night because of my dreams. It started out as a cherub type thing, sort of like Cupid, eating the souls of people. It jumped around different houses, eating the souls of everyone in there. The only way to stop it was to shoot it with incendiary rounds, but every time we shot it, it came back. We (Myself and a few others who were savvy to what was going on) managed to lure it into a furnace somehow though, and that was the end of that. Then, my dreams moved to the tooth fairies from Hellboy 2 eating the soulless peoples teeth and possessing them, turning the entire campus into mindless things, kind of like the CF people are now, but they were more forceful. they had an underground lair and everything, and myself and steve managed to infiltrate and find out what was going on. thats about when i woke up due to being uncomfortable, when I fell back asleep, I had a dream about the man in the cloak again, the assassin. I dont remember details about that one though