im laying here in my bed thinking, and i realize, all the planning i did for this break, everything, would've worked out perfectly if one little thing hadn't happened back in october. that one thing sent a ripple all the way to now, and probably to the future too. that one thing is making it hard for me to be around my closest, truest friend in the world, who i am currently having a conversation along these very lines with.
and now i feel like crap cuz i made her cry... seems thats all im good at doing recently is making the women i care about most cry... seems the only two i havent yet is kelsea and nymph, but who knows, maybe i have, and i just dont realize it...
what is it you are supposed to do when your best friend is your best stress reliever, but you cant employ their services because it would lead to more than you are comfortable with at the moment? as far as i can tell, there is nothing that can be done, we just have to deal with it...
i hope and pray that future circumstances wont cause me to fade away into oblivion... if that happens, i dont know if ill be able to carry on in life...
for now, this is the Night Angel, signing off.
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